The ripple effect of holes in your socks
And the messages they convey into life and work
I threw out 6 pairs of socks a few weeks back, then bagged up piles of clothes to go to the charity shop. I sold furniture and appliances on marketplace, and booked my car into the garage.
Why?
Well I do this twice every year any way, get rid of all the clothes I’ve not worn in the last 12 months (excluding ball gowns, as one never knows when one might be invited to a ball) because they’re just taking up space.
But there are a few other reasons for this, one being the practice of non attachment, if I don’t need something, why am I holding onto it? Another is a clear mind, a tidy and open space does wonders for calming your nervous system; “tidy house, tidy mind”.
I already have everything I need, so if I want something new I’m sure to remove something I already own first.
This consistent practice has been wonderfully refreshing twice yearly. It might not be visible that my wardrobe and drawers now have less in them, but there is a different energy in the room, I feel lighter, clearer, brighter… I’m not sure I can explain it.
During this clear out, the socks with holes in get thrown out too. But there is the other reason why they have to go, along with anything that’s a little broken, I don’t like or use any more.
The lack mindset that a pair of socks with holes in can cause…
Lack Mindset; a definition:
“A belief that there will never be enough resources, whether that be money, time, or opportunities”
The lack mindset shows up all over the place, and the holey socks that you continue to wear might be one of the first. Or maybe keeping things that don’t work, or are cobbled together. Things that don’t make you feel good (Marie Kondo is onto something, if you’ve not read her work).
It’s all about the energy that the things in your life cause you to feel, and the implications can be massive.
Let’s say I keep my holey socks, I wear leggings that have paint on them, a jumper that’s got a coffee stain on the sleeve. Perhaps I drive my filthy car, that’s got two warning lights on to a meet up.
I’m so embarrassed about the state of my car that I hide it in the back of the car park. In my rush across the car park I shove my dirty tattered laces into my shoes making my holey socks wet.
I get to the meet up uncomfortable, I already feel embarrassed that someone might ask me about my car. I’m conscious that I have to sit a certain way incase someone sees the paint on my leggings or the coffee stain on my jumper. I’m hot and flustered from a swift walk across the car park, I have wet socks and I really don’t feel my best.
The meet up is to discuss a trip, a trip that’s a little out of my budget, and with the car engine lights on, the wet laces seeping through my threadbare socks and the stain on my jumper I decide that I have many other things to pay for before I can justify a trip like that, so I decide to turn it down.
I’d leave the meet up feeling despondent, sad and frustrated. I’d get in my car full of resentment, and decide that maybe it’s time to get the thing looked at, if I’m not spending the money on a trip it may as well be the car.
With the quote from the garage I balk at the cost. How much?
Nope, not doing it, I can’t afford it, the car isn’t worth it. So I continue to drive around with warning lights on, resenting the car I drive.
I decide my leggings with paint stains will do, they still have some wear in them, maybe I’ll sharpie over the paint and no one will know. Perhaps I’ll try to get rid of the stain on the jumper too.
Then when it comes round to the trip I didn’t go on there is a level of jealousy, of missing out, of ‘what ifs’ and more resentment to the things I have in my life.
What the choices in this scenario are screaming:
That you are not worth of nice things, travel, comfort, ease and opportunity.
Each time you say no to an opportunity that aligns with you(you’ll get the odd one thrown out to test your resolve of course) you are telling the people in front of you that you’re unlikely to say yes, so they’ll stop asking, you’re also telling the universe that you don’t think you can handle it either, so you’ll stay in the perpetual cycle of lack.
When you keep the socks with holes in, and the coffee stained jumper, you’re telling yourself that you’re not worth wearing clothes that make you feel good. You sit in a state of (sometimes low level) anxiety about what people think of you (it’s natural, no judgement) and what you think of yourself. You don’t want anyone to spot the stain, it’s understandable, but even when you’re alone, you’re not going to look at the stain and feel good.
It’ll be a tiny little bee in your bonnet. A little message that reminds you that ‘I’m not good enough to have nice things’.
When you believe this (which over time, you will, as the message is repeated over and over, so it’ll sink in) you will turn down nice things, when they do come your way you’ll end up sabotaging or disregarding them.
Example, you’re wearing brand new trousers (which you love and feel really good in) on a dog walk, knowing full well it’s muddy. The trousers end up stained and plucked, and you’re back into that 'comfortable’ sense of not feeling like you deserve nice things.
How lack mindset shows up:
I’m sticking with material items for now, but lack mindset shows up in all areas of your life. Here’s a list of common ways that might prove you might have a little lack mindset going on:
Wearing things that make you feel ‘less than’
Appliances that don’t work as they should
A car that’s falling apart at the edges or filled with rubbish
Holding onto or hoarding everything
Keeping things even though they’re broken or you don’t use them any more
Keeping things you don’t like ‘just because’
Unfinished decorating/ DIY in your home
Keeping things that make you feel a little embarrassed to have in front of others (household or car or clothing etc), “sorry it/I am such a mess” vibe
Saying no to every opportunity that costs a little more than what’s comfortable
Going budget on every outing or trip
Choosing the cheapest thing on the menu
Saying no to every opportunity for fear of cost
Paying for things that you don’t use
Paying for things that don’t serve you (a phone that doesn’t work in your own home as the signal is too bad)
Not replacing a cracked screen or broken phone
The list could go on, but I’m sure you get the idea.
Why we stay in this mindset… Keep reading to find out
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